Wednesday, February 5, 2014

What snow days are REALLY like

When the cat's away the mice will play.

The cat is Scott in Hawaii, and we are the mice.

I feel like we're all living on the island of never ending sweets and debauchery where Pinnochio went when he lied too much:


The kids are fighting over everything, including:

Who is a boy and who is a girl
Who has longer snow pants
Who ripped Lucy's LaLaloopsy's head off (Phoebe)
Who broke my plastic storage tote by going all 'roiding Barry Bonds with the plunger (Asher)
Who loves Phoebe most
Who got lost in a snow drift, and the only way they could be found was by a high-pitched screeching of: "Daddy! Daddy!" (Kid, if you're waiting on Daddy to save you, he's drinking piƱa coladas with Jimmy Buffet's housemaid, so you're fresh out of luck):

Who is the most passive agressive:


Who is acting exactly like they are beginning their period even though they are in early elementary school (note: not me, did you know I will NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!????)

Who got up the earliest
Who went to bed the latest
Who broke another wine glass (me)

So, we have been busy arguing! I've also been busy shoveling

And I want you to give me an award for not inwardly cursing my husband for lying in the beach eating Hawaiian coffee (can you eat coffee?) with Hula Girls all around while I was shoveling this disaster so we could go to McDonalds and eat some highly saturated fats.


I'm leaving you with this picture, because if I were not being honest I would just post this and lead you all to believe that they are not fighting and every minute is scheduled with imaginative play that doesnt involve Melatonin or screaming toddlers with diarrhea.

Wanna come over?

Also, if you want to come and rob me, feel free to try, but you'll have to get past this:


I also sleep with a baseball bat under the bed and I have a mean swing after shoveling all of that snow, so good luck getting in the windows with 13 inches of snow underneath and trying to steal our awesome furniture and state of the art computer system:


Someone just asked me if they could use the bottom of a pencil for a paintbrush.

I said yes.

You've been warned.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Love this! Day 3 now and I've officially lost my cool with the kids. Watch as much TV as you want! Mama has officially checked OUT! :)