|my friend Rachie, having successfully wooed fifi to sleep|
|Asher's birthday party, in living color|
|my "tween" - I swear...sometimes when she is sleeping I can see her growing!|
|Pheebs and her little cousin|
|nothing like some skinny jeans and black boots...|
|my cousin, aunt and sister in law going to do a fashion shoot during the birthday party - they own the neighborhood|
|apparently Ash didn't get the memo that this is a mother/son photo...|
I haven't gotten to talk to the social worker yet today; we are just sort of in a holding pattern for Tea to go with the relative who is able to take her. That relative is in another state so the paperwork takes twice as long, and for the reason I feel badly for Tea. I just want her to be where she is going to be, instead of constantly in flux.
Yesterday we met with a new foster parent friend at McDonald's, and Tea threw a fit before we left. She doesn't do well with transitions, which is a HUGE foster kiddo thing, I think...or any kiddo who is passed around from one parent to another a lot. My heart goes out to these kids. I think about the normalcy I had as a child and the normalcy that my kids have in their lives (as normal as having me for a mother can be), and it makes me sad for the kids who don't get that. Constantly being carted back and forth between mom and dad, and then, if they are in foster care, their foster parents, has to be hard. It takes about a day for Tea to adjust to wherever new she is.
I had a meeting with our case worker today and told her that I wouldn't be able to do the summer thing with four kids, two of them toddlers. It's just a limit I have, and I'm not sorry for saying I have it. I like seeing these changes in myself, because even 3 months ago I would have been afraid to voice that.
Tea has been here for 10 months and we are her family now. It breaks my heart that she will have another transition to go through, no matter what. I asked the social worker about what happens if this out of state relative is denied, and she said that in that case, since we are not wanting to adopt right now, she'd be moved to a foster family who would be open to adoption right now. That's hard for me, not because I want to adopt, but because I feel bad for her to have ANOTHER transition. I mean, isn't that sort of the makings of RAD?
Again, though, foster care is only as good as the health of the people providing it. I will definitely miss this little girl but I will also enjoy having a break before our next placement. Asher has already requested a boy, near his age.
Baby Man, the baby we got 2 years ago at birth and who left our home at 9 months old when Phoebe was born, will be coming to stay with us for a week. He is not coming for a few more days but the Pack and Play is already set up in Asher's room and he is ecstatic to have him!
I guess sometimes I feel like the odd foster parent out - it seems that on so many blogs I read and so many foster parents I know, the thing on the hearts of most is adoption. We're definitely not looking to adopt, but foster care is working for us right now. I am glad that I've enjoyed my baby so much and now that she is 18 months old, I am enjoying getting out of the little baby stage. So, we'll be looking at taking preschool/school age kids into our home from this point forward.
It used to be that I would think, "How does person 'x' handle 5 children in his or her home when 4 sometimes feels a lot to me?" and now I think, "Person 'x' has an entirely different set of circumstances and, really, I only read person 'x''s blog so I have no idea about how effective a parent person X really is." Isn't it funny how we compare ourselves with only the best ideals we have of others?
Scott and Lucy are out getting some Noodles for dinner and so I must be going. I must post some pictures of Asher's Eewok cupcakes. You will love!!!!!!!!
If you are a foster parent, have you met the "saying goodbyes" with some relief, or has it always been hard?