Wednesday, November 7, 2012

take heart

I was near tears last night as I read Facebook status updates and realized that we get to go through another four years of off-the-cliff spending hell (how could I ever run a household at a deficit? and we elect a leader who runs our country at one? We are stupid.) and more things coming at us like my money being forcibly taken from me to pay for the killing of unborn babies.

I never thought I'd see the day.

That said, I realized I needed to step. away. from. the. computer.

I started randomly spewing my thoughts on the Facebook pages of friends I love, and I realized I needed to just delete the Facebook account and get back into living my life.

The depression has gotten a TON better. I am feeling more like myself.

I had a conversation with Granny the other day - she and I were both crying. If you had told me 2 years ago when we started this entire process that I would be talking on the phone and in person to biological family of my foster placements, I would have told you you were crazy.

I was ardently against any sort of contact that wasn't supervised by a social worker, but I have since realized that I am strong enough to be Teapot's advocate as well as my own. It looks as though Teapot may be leaving us soon to live with her grandparents, so of course I want to have a good relationship with her grandparents so that it is a seamless transition for her.

I just mowed our lawn as well as part of our neighbor's. Four years ago at this moment in time I was finishing up painting the dining room in our old house. I suppose "losing" an election makes me antsy and I expend lots of my nervous energy.

What else do you want to know? I don't know what I want to say.

Maybe I just want to say that everything will be OK...that leaders will rise and fall, and all of this is, well, just a blip in the grand scheme of eternity.

4 comments:

Jess said...

Ella woke up this morning and asked me what happened with the election. I told her Obama won. She said, "I bet Ama fell on the floor crying and Lissie is happy she doesn't have to leave the country!". Yeah, our family is just a bit divided and the grandmas seem to have the strongest voices.

I quit FB a month ago and it has been great! It took a week to not feel out of the loop but I'm happy I did it now.

Thoughts for the day said...

I so agree with you it is incredibly upsetting. But we have to remember GOD is in control. As far as facebook I ignore what I don't want to see, most of my friends do well on it, and I also use it as a misson field sharing encouraging notes and words of truth to those who don't know who holds it.

asplashofsunshine said...

The political negativity on BOTH sides was maddening! I thought it would end, but nope, no such luck. Regardless of who is in the Oval Office at any point in history, it behooves everyone if they would somehow work together to get things accomplished. Obama loves this country. Romney loves this country. You love our country. I do too. I get so angry when someone says I don't love my country because I vote a certain way. It's insulting, rude, and pathetic.

Cole said...

I'm happy for Teapot and her Grandma and was just telling my sister how loving you are...so much so that you take photos and keep the bio families in the loop while you care for their kiddo. I just love you!

As for the election...two months ago during quiet time it occurred to me that MOST of the kings in the bible used their own will to jack up the people and land they were in charge of but God is faithful and will continue to be on the thrown no matter who sits in the oval office. It helps me to keep that perspective so I don't get caught up in debates and economics that I can't control. I have to pray for those that are elected and know that God is in charge of my family and that has to be enough for me so I don't allow myself to worry over things I can't change.

SO THANKFUL to hear the depression is losing its grip, dear friend! Praise GOD!!