I was near tears last night as I read Facebook status updates and realized that we get to go through another four years of off-the-cliff spending hell (how could I ever run a household at a deficit? and we elect a leader who runs our country at one? We are stupid.) and more things coming at us like my money being forcibly taken from me to pay for the killing of unborn babies.
I never thought I'd see the day.
That said, I realized I needed to step. away. from. the. computer.
I started randomly spewing my thoughts on the Facebook pages of friends I love, and I realized I needed to just delete the Facebook account and get back into living my life.
The depression has gotten a TON better. I am feeling more like myself.
I had a conversation with Granny the other day - she and I were both crying. If you had told me 2 years ago when we started this entire process that I would be talking on the phone and in person to biological family of my foster placements, I would have told you you were crazy.
I was ardently against any sort of contact that wasn't supervised by a social worker, but I have since realized that I am strong enough to be Teapot's advocate as well as my own. It looks as though Teapot may be leaving us soon to live with her grandparents, so of course I want to have a good relationship with her grandparents so that it is a seamless transition for her.
I just mowed our lawn as well as part of our neighbor's. Four years ago at this moment in time I was finishing up painting the dining room in our old house. I suppose "losing" an election makes me antsy and I expend lots of my nervous energy.
What else do you want to know? I don't know what I want to say.
Maybe I just want to say that everything will be OK...that leaders will rise and fall, and all of this is, well, just a blip in the grand scheme of eternity.