note to reader: I am trying to make a tongue-in-cheek point...that "things" are not bad, but
when we become so obsessed with them that we turn into beasts while waiting in line for them,something's wrong. I was looking at Coach purses the other night online, so I really would be the pot calling the kettle black if I said that no one should buy anything nice. I do notice a cultural obsession with STUFF and I was playing into that. The weekly advertisement section should show us that. We have a society that only works when people buy, buy, buy...and perspective gets lost. This sort of post is hyperbole:
Hyperbole (
/haɪˈpɜrbəliː/ hy-pur-bə-lee;[1] Greek: ὑπερβολή, 'exaggeration') is the use of exaggeration as arhetorical device or figure of speech. It may be used to evoke strong feelings or to create a strong impression, but is not meant to be taken literally.[2]
Enjoy. I enjoyed writing it.
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I try to avoid the mall at all costs because, well, it pretty much makes me crazy and I want to take everoyne's shopping bags, poring over the contents inside and asking questions like, "Do you REALLY need this $58 sweatshirt that says "Sexy" on the butt from Victoria's Secret, mother and your 16 year old daughter?" or "Did you REALLY need that $228 coach diaper bag to make your life complete, pregnant mother-to-be?
when we become so obsessed with them that we turn into beasts while waiting in line for them,something's wrong. I was looking at Coach purses the other night online, so I really would be the pot calling the kettle black if I said that no one should buy anything nice. I do notice a cultural obsession with STUFF and I was playing into that. The weekly advertisement section should show us that. We have a society that only works when people buy, buy, buy...and perspective gets lost. This sort of post is hyperbole:
Hyperbole (
/haɪˈpɜrbəliː/ hy-pur-bə-lee;[1] Greek: ὑπερβολή, 'exaggeration') is the use of exaggeration as arhetorical device or figure of speech. It may be used to evoke strong feelings or to create a strong impression, but is not meant to be taken literally.[2]Enjoy. I enjoyed writing it.
*******************
I try to avoid the mall at all costs because, well, it pretty much makes me crazy and I want to take everoyne's shopping bags, poring over the contents inside and asking questions like, "Do you REALLY need this $58 sweatshirt that says "Sexy" on the butt from Victoria's Secret, mother and your 16 year old daughter?" or "Did you REALLY need that $228 coach diaper bag to make your life complete, pregnant mother-to-be?
But instead I took them to Build-a-Bear, like any good
little American consumer.
My jaw dropped when we got there and the line was OUT OF
THE STORE.
RECESSION?
Not at Build a Bear, my friends...
Never at Build a Bear!
We waited in line for 24 minutes and finally got to the
front. While we were waiting, the woman in front of me with the out of control 4
year old and $83 worth of merchandise in her hand said, "Man, she's just
addicted to this place. I suppose it's better than some addictions a kid could
have!"
"What," was my fictitious response, "Like prostitution?
Buying underwear that says 'sexy' on the butt at Charlotte Russe? Candy corn?
What possible other addiction could an American 4 year old have that
is worse than this?"
We finally got up to the front of the line, and
our lovely bear attendant, Sharla, was all smiles. She took her time with the kids and pointed out that Asher
is a visual learner (something I apparently could not figure out until the
conference). I asked her if she wanted to be a teacher and she said, no, she'd
like to be a fashion designer.
She's working at the perfect place! I just KNOW Vera Wang
started out in that well-worn bear-making seat, designing bear
clothes.
Meanwhile, the people behind us were tapping their feet
impatiently, sighing, looking at their watches. It was so uncomfortable but then
I relaxed and remembered, dang it, that I am paying $4.73 a minute for this
experience, so they can just chill the heck out. Whispering to each other that
this is taking way toooooo long while the 2-year-old melts at the feet, and the
comic absurdity of the situation hits me:
You are getting upset, to the point of rage, over what is essentially a piece of MATERIAL! YOU COULD BE ONE OF MILLIONS OF LITTLE GIRLS
GETTING YOUR CLIT*ORIS RIPPED OFF IN RWANDA OR A SOLDIER FIGHTING CRAZIES IN
AFGHANISTAN WITH SAND ALWAYS IN YOUR TEETH OR THE SEVENTH CHILD OF A PROSTITUTE
OR A CHILD BEING BURNED BY CIGARETTES OR A MILLION OTHER THINGS...
PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE! PERSPECTIVE!
We were done cuddling the bear's heart and dancing around in a circle to
promote good love juju for the bear's well being and I was faced with the
unlovable task of PICKING OUT CLOTHES FOR THESE GODFORSAKEN BEARS.
Somehow, I've been duped into paying more than I pay for an entire outfit
for my 6 month old to buy material to put over material that is covering cotton
filling.
Can you imagine the guys who first thought of the Build-a-Bear idea?
"Hey, Bob...what if we created a store where people came in, picked a piece
of material, filled it up with cotton batting, then bought more material,
clothes, I suppose you could say, to cover the material they've just filled up
with cotton? We could charge, oh, I don't know, maybe $15 a square inch, and
people would be clamoring for this product. What do you think?"
"I don't know, Charlie, sounds like a scam."
*sip, sip*
24 years later, there are Bob and Charlie, glugging Mai Tai's on their very
own private island, while I wait around in the hell that is Build-a-Bear for my
kids to look up at me with sad brown eyes while I tell them, "Hey, kids! Look!
Build a Bear can work at Dairy Queen! This outfit's only $5!" (Yes, Build-a-Bear
has a clearance aisle, and you can bet your skivvies I found it)
I got out of there spending $6.64, thanks to Gift Cards.
never again to Build-a-Bear.
5 comments:
lol, i have been there a few times...it is such a rip off...but apparently i did not learn my lesson the first time.
it is easier if you only have one child...pretty sure a soon as we hit two kids we never set food in the store again :)
LOVE THIS POST... the location could be almost anywhere. Let's try a water park, amusement park, any circus event, heck, how about a food court, or any child centered place.... I do play into it sometimes, but it makes me sick to hear whining, and the parental "Fine. I'll get it". Get a backbone PEOPLE! Thanks for the laugh!
Great post! And this is the reason why when I have more children, I'm going to do things TOTALLY different. But it sounds like you had a gift card so that's cool!
Funny funny blog post.
and so true in many ways,
I really enjoyed this. I was on the Build a Bear website (looks around guiltily, come on! They've got Kermit and Miss Piggy!) trying to talk myself out of spending $40+ on a stuffed frog and pig (for my 24 year old self, not for my 3 year old) when I read a review on an item by a woman who said she had at least 40 build a bears. 40!? At about $20 a piece, with generally speaking $15 or more spent on clothes, this woman has spent roughly $1400 on "cloth on cloth stuffed with batting" or however you put it, lol.
Thus far, I've not pushed the checkout button. I will probably visit the website every couple of days until they're finally sold out. Then I can pretend I tried.
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