I feel guilty if I am playing with the kids - that I'm not doing something right. I feel guilty if I'm just doing housework and not playing with the kids. I feel guilty if I have a piece of cake. I feel guilty when there are dishes in the sink and Scott comes home.
I feel guilty for not cracking open my Bible lately (really, the last year or so, who are we kidding?). I feel guilty for not calling my Grandma. I feel guilty.
Guilty, guilty, guilty.
I have tried, argued and convicted myself: GUILTY.
This New Year?
I'm going to work on looking at the ways that guilt has detracted from the overall quality of my life, and what it has stolen from me.
Then, I'm going to change it. These kids, this husband, this life doesn't necessitate that I be a steaming bundle of nerves. They deserve better, and so do I.
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| the kids with their cousin |
My head believes it right now, but my heart doesn't.
8 comments:
guilt is one of my demons, too! It's so hard to keep control of that inner dialogue!
I am the same way. Mothers tend to feel guilty a lot.
We feel guilty if the house isn't clean etc; but in order to clean it we need to be away from the kids. They feel guilty about that. Sigh...
Feel better!
Guilt and worry...two of the most useless and energy-sapping emotions there are. As a grandmother now...I still struggle with both. However, now that my kids are grown I realize that they have no memory of anything I felt guilty about and they surely don't appreciate the amount of worry I put into them. So please STOP putting these self-imposed emotions on yourself right now...I wish I had when I was your age, could have saved a lot of anxiety attacks and freed up my brain for positive things :)
:)
you got this
I understand and I am going to pray that the peace of Christ dwell deeply within you and the lies of the enemy go away. Guilt is not from God it is a way of keeping us away from the joy that is around us.
Your husband and children love you and appreciate you whether your dishes are done, house is clean or laundry folded. They love you because of who you are, special and LOVED.
Oh how I could have written this. I feel guilty when the house is dirty. I feel guilty when I'm cleaning and not spending time with munchkin. I feel guilty when I blog because i'm not doing either of the previous.
I feel guilty because I work but on days I'm home I feel guilty for not earning money.
It's a self-hatred cycle when all we do is our best. If you find the answer to leaving guilt in the dust by all means, please share with us.
I have struggled with mother guilt too. I have been thinking about this verse lately, Isaiah 40:11 "He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."
I remind myself that God says he gently leads those with young. Since He deals with me gently and graciously as I try and be a good, Godly mother,I need to deal gently with myself too!
I hear ya on the guilt! I feel guilty when there is laundry not put away or dishes in the sink...and my husband doesn't even notice! Which means, he doesn't notice when it's put away either. haha.
But I still struggle with making my house the home I want it to be. We're just going through the process of getting licensed to foster and I'm trying to use this time to work on myself, getting better about reading my bible, enjoying the NOW, etc. before we add kids to the mix.
Great space you have here. I've enjoyed reading some about your journey and seeing how God has worked things out for your family. I'll be back often. :)
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