We were finishing up our foster/adopt application and I *knew* there were no more babies coming from my body. My body was the place where embryos came to die. My one gimpy tube wasn't going to do the reproducing job. God knew that. Right?
Then I woke up one day and realized my period was late. I whispered to myself, "NO WAY!" while I ripped out the ICs (internet cheapies) from the cabinet and talked to a man about some horses on five of them. All, unmistakable. All, positive.
"When will the miscarriage happen?" I asked myself. I was resigned, calling the baby "it" and trying to keep myself totally unattached.
At seven weeks, a good friend accompanied me to the ultrasound. On the drive over I wondered whether I would choose a D&C or opt for the "bring the products of conception to the office in a Zip-Loc" treatment I got the last time.
7 weeks: beating heart. no way.
12 weeks: beating heart. no way.
18 weeks: beating heart. sucking thumb. no birth defects. girl. NO WAY.
37 weeks: not freaking out, no emergency c-section, doctor tells me I can hang on for two more weeks.
39 weeks: screaming, crying, wiggling baby. NOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
later in the day: emergency hysterectomy due to blood loss: NOOOOO WAAAAY
I'm not sure there is really a point to this blog post, except to say NOOOO WAYYY:
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| don't mess with the hoodie |
5 comments:
She is such a beautiful miracle I am SO glad you have the blessing of her God heard your hearts cry and Blessed you.
God is so good and faithful!
Life is that way: No Way.
That sweet girl is an answer to so many whispered prayers. I just love her and all that she is to your heart.
God is amazing...He does so much more than we could ever imagine when we let go. So beautiful!!
She's BEAUTIFUL!!!! I love those lips and those eyes and those cheeks!
God has a way of taking our No Way and turning them into "My Way".
;)
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