Wednesday, July 20, 2011

i can't believe i'm alive

friends...i cannot wait5 to show you photos of our baby girl. She is perfect. I, however, nearly died yesterday.

I was in excruciating pain after the birth in one spot and my blood pressure crashed at 7 pm last night. The nurse pulled the code blue button in my room and ran to get help.

people came running in and I was in excruciating pain. Excruciating. My bp was 63/34 and the doc said I was going into SVT. My heart couldn't handle the stress and massive internal hemmorhage was suspected.

It is thought that baby provided enough pressure on the uterine hematoma (not even near the previous csection scar) to keep me from bleeding out the last months of pregnancy. Had she been born vagin*ally there would have been no way my doctor would have known it even existed.

I crashed on the way to surgery and now have coursing through my veins half of my bodys capacity of someone elses blood. A wonderful stranger.

I heard "we r losing her" more times than I care to count. Scott and I said good bye. He was sobbing and I was in shock. I kept staring at our baby girls new clothes and wanted so badly to be with Scott and watch her grow. During the 2 hoursof surgery the only sound in the waiting room was prayers of petition to our God.

there was so much blood and not enough time that I was given a hysterectomy...all but one ovary. There is so much more to tell you but we have on our hands a beautiful 7 pound 12 ounce baby girl...Phoebe Ellis. Pictures to come as soon as I can figure out Scotts phone.

Thank you God for sparing my life.

Thank you is too inadequate a prayer.

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read your posts daily but have never commented. I was worried when we hadn't heard anything about the birth yet. I am sad your last birth experience was so traumatic but grateful that you are safe and well, baby too. We are blessed to have such advanced medicine these days. I have truly enjoyed learning about all of your journeys you have shared and I pray for the best to all of you. Here's to Phoebe and continued growth! Jeffra

In the Mix said...

I read (almost daily) your blog. All I can say is, "Praises to our LORD and God for knowing how things should work out". Your baby is beautiful. All your babies are beautiful.
May HE continue to bless and keep you in these coming days.

Tara said...

Oh Rachel all I can come up with is thank God to all the answered prayers. So glad you made it through. Phoebe is beautiful, with a beautiful name.
Take it easy so you can heal!

Alisa said...

I'm stumbling over words to write. Just so thankful you're okay, thankful the doctors caught it, thankful for your life, just so thankful. Praise the Lord! I love what someone wrote - your life has been surrounded by miracles. So true and beautiful.

Mollie said...

Thank you God for your health and life so you can be there for your beautiful little girl. *hug*

Sabrina said...

I am so sorry Rachel! This is not what any birth experience should be like. :( I am so glad you are ok though!! Huge hugs. She is beautiful too!!

Melodie Brunell said...

Take care rach. And kiss that beautiful baby girl for me.

Michelle said...

Rachel,
Wow! Congratulations and PRAISE GOD that you and baby Phoebe are safe and healthy! Beautiful name! So happy for you all.

TiAnna Mae said...

I'm crying right now, but all I can say is the devil has come to steal, kill, and destroy but God came so that we can have life more abundantly. God always wins! Keep walking in His glory. I also say, Praise His mighty name on behalf of your family!

Sarah said...

I am a regular reader but don't often comment. I am so glad that you and Phoebe are safe!

marcia said...

omigosh, Rach!!!! No words right now, just tears of shock and joy, and absolute gratitude for the birth of Phoebe and the fact that you could right this post!!!

MamaFoster said...

wow kiddo. just...wow.

so glad that God was there. so glad you are still here.

i am sorry that it was so scary.

so glad she is here and so are you!

Mrs. CRM said...

Rachie... I am thanking God right now for hearing all of our prayers for protection for you and your baby. I just wish i could squeeze you right now... how scary the hemmorage that you had.... I love you girl!!! I'm so so glad you are ok!!

Sandy said...

Oh Rachel.....prayed for you lots yesterday until I finally got a beautiful picture from your dad and all was well - woke up this morning to unheard/unread messages ....can only imagine the Holy Spirit's groaning for you and yours for so many that love you so very very much...prayers to continue!
Hugs,
Sandy

SG to SP said...

I'm a regular reader but haven't commented before. First off, congratulations on your new, beautiful little girl!! Second, what a SCARY experience! I can't even imagine. I'm so happy you and the baby are both okay now. I'm due in December and just pray everything goes smoothly.

mindlessmamma said...

PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GOOD!!! I am so sorry you had such a scary time. I was worried as time kept passing yesterday with no news and had a feeling something was up. Lots of prayers for complete healing for you and your hubby too!! I've followed your story for a while and have never commented before today. Sweet Phoebe is BEAUTIFUL:) Rest up,heal up, and LOVE that sweet angel!!

Mary said...

Tears are pouring down my cheeks here in the library. I cannot begin to thank God enough for sparing your life. I will email you. Phoebe is gorgeous.....and what an amazing gift. Love you.

britta said...

Wow! I haven't been here in a couple of months! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So happy that you made it through your scary situation. God was definitely with you and your family.

I hope you and baby are now healthy!

Carrie said...

Wow, so thankful you are all ok! Thoughts and prayers for your speedy recovery.

Cole said...

Praise God you're alright Rachel!!! When you text me this morning I sat in my car outside the store we were in trying not to throw up. I cannot imagine what any of you were going through yesterday!!

She is GORGEOUS and I am beyond grateful that you never went into labor on your own...God knew the right timing and such a great plan to keep you safe. Oh my goodness.

I'll say this. You never, EVER have a dull birth experience do you?!

I love you!!! Can't wait to hug you and meet Phoebe...LOVE the name btw!

Veronica said...

Rachel, I find it even more amazing that you can write - and with clarity - so fast after your experience! Even more evidence that we serve an awesome God! Congratulations to you and Scott...can't wait to see you! XOXO

S said...

I have no words, Rach. Sending you many hugs and prayers. May God continue to watch over you and your family. I can't imagine how awful it was for you and Scott. I have tears for you! Love you.

Sheri

Kathy McC said...

So scary! I am glad you and Phoebe are both OK. Congratulations!

Thoughts for the day said...

OH my God your angels were working over time and I am SO glad you were in the hospital. THIS is why I do not like or advocate home births, anything can go wrong in a moment's notice. I pray you will recover well. Take time and get help. I pray you have family and friends who can take care of the children. The recovery is difficult but you will be better if you follow the rules, be very careful to not lift other than maybe the two babies. Your emotions will be a little up and down but with help and prayers you will be ok. Take care, and lay low and REST when you can.

jj said...

Well, I just cried---for what you went for and the fact that you are still here, to raise your children, love your husband and fulfill your mission on this planet. Praise God!

Abbie said...

I read regularly, but don't comment often and I am so sorry you had to go through this but so glad you made it through! She is beautiful, and I love her name.

God Bless.

Brooke said...

I didn't breathe the whole time I read your account. So scary, Rachel. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through another impossibly difficult experience, but am SO HAPPY that you and sweet little Phoebe Ellis are healthy and together. Now you can start enjoying your even bigger family!!

Flmgodog said...

HOLY CRAP RACHEL. Thank g-d you are alive and all is well with Phoebe (adorable name). I am glad you came through. It sounds like a nightmare. Again as I have told you before thank g-d for "here, healthy, and alive"!
Thinking of you and your family!

LeeAnn said...

Praising God for all the people that intervened on your behalf, nurses & docs with medical care and husband & family with prayers & petitions. so thankful your life was saved. God is so Good!
(friend of Alyssa Byrd)

gretchen from lifenut said...

Crying for what you went through and crying with happiness that you've been saved in more ways than one.

Congratulations on the birth of beautiful Phoebe, a girl who has already saved a life. What a start.

Mindy said...

Every time I've tried to comment I start crying and can't think of what I want to say, but I'm so thankful that both of you are here and ok. I remember the day YOU were born, when your dad was telling your brothers about you and they were trying to guess your name. We were all a litte shocked when your dad said, "How about Rachel?"i. Praise God!

boltefamily said...

HOLY CRAP! That's all I got! SO thankful you are both doing well! Love you!

Phoenix Rising said...

Oh my goodness!!! I am so happy that you're OK and that your beautiful little girl is here as well! I've been thinking of you a ton. I'm just so glad you're OK. I would have been terrified.

Phoebe is beautiful! Congratulations!!

Cee said...

Thank God you are OK. God is doing miracles with you all the time. Praying for quick healing and that you have some time to rest. Love her name!

Inkling said...

Wow. I think I'm kind of in shock just from reading this. So thankful that the nurse was there to act quickly and that your life was saved. Thank you, God!

If when things settle down and hormones and emotions start getting difficult to bear and you need a place to visit to process the whole birth scare, http://solaceformothers.org/ exists to be a safe place to share your story, ask questions, or just be supported.

I am soooo glad your life was saved. I will pray for your body to heal, for your heart and emotions to be okay as they process all of this in the coming months, and that your precious family stays close and supportive through all of the healing time. May Jesus wrap His arms around all of you today.

Susan said...

Oh my goodness! Shocking. I'm so sorry you had all of that happen and I'm thankful you are ok. We will continue to lift you up.

Debbie said...

I'm so glad you and Phoebe are okay. I'm so sorry to hear you experienced this life threatening birth with your daughter. Praying for you as you recover and heal.

Just Me said...

Oh my goodness! I've been "stalking" your blog for a bit after one of your foster parent posts, but have never commented (one of the many on this post I guess!) That is so crazy and I'm glad you and Phoebe are doing alright. Wow, what an emotional day for your entire family...I can't even imagine! Hoping for a speedy recovery and continued health for you both.

Rachel said...

Rejoicing with you! Pheobe is precious! Praising the Lord for keeping you safe! Hoping for a speedy recovery.

Michele said...

Speechless. In shock. Thanking God you are ok.

korin said...

God Lord, girl. Never a dull moment. i'm so thankful you are ok. I love you so much!

and Phoebe? divine.

kelly jeanie said...

I am so glad you are okay, God is good!!! Congratulations, she is beautiful.

Expat Mom said...

And here you were worried the BABY was going to be in trouble. Wow, I'm SO glad you pulled through and are ok. That's really scary. Poor Scott.

My mom was an inch from death after I was born and let me just say that this will make a great story for Phoebe later in life. ;) Btw, seriously LOVE her name!!!

Jennifer said...

So thankful you are here to write this post. So thankful.