Friday, July 15, 2011

don't google those things

I'd been having this odd pain in my groin for the last 4 or 5 days, but really just thought it was tendons and the baby pressing on them, or maybe just the lu*st that burns ever-constantly for my Nautica-wearing husband. (1990s, anyone?)

Talked to a friend who is VERY non-alarmist, and she suggested I talk to our doc (we share the same one; we're cool like that.) Co-pays are separate, though.

Scott actually called me on the phone, something he *never* does unless he thinks I'm dying, which, well, apparently he did. He told me to call an ambulance if I was feeling faint and who cares how much it costs, and, hey, by the way, remember that lady I worked with who died just when we started dating? This is exactly what she died of!

"Oh, honey, that's FANTASTIC!" I replied, as I downed an entire bag of potato chips.

Enter the tears, because if my husband is saying these things, the guy who doesn't raise an eyebrow as the hurricane bears down on the ship, then I am S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

Anyway, 45 minutes later I was getting a doppler done of my leg, freaking out because I had googled "C-SECTION AFTER BLOOD CLOT DIAGNOSIS", (for the love of Peter and Paul, never google this), and imagining my own funeral, complete with my children asking Daddy why Mommy wouldn't wake up, and why is she in a wooden bed?

Lucy would lay a laurel wreath upon my bosom, and she would be wearing that little Cinderella outfit, the one Cinderella wears when she's sweeping the cinders and her evil stepmother is making her stay home from the ball, but only after she buries her dead biological mother and lays a laurel wreath, as I said, upon her bosom.

Technically, I suppose that "little Cinderella outfit" is really just a whole bunch of cast-off rags her older brat sisters donated to the cause, but hopefully Scott would buy her a real costume at the Disney store for the occasion.

Asher would hit me in the face and tell me he needed a glass of milk.

I am nearly shouting from the rooftops with my good news: no blood clot, just freaked out mother... though that would require me walking outside and the humidity here is hellish.

My sister in law came over and made food for all of the kids, watched them while I went to my appointment, and then scrubbed my kitchen down while I lounged in the living room scarfing down Costco apple pie and watching Eloise with the littles.

Sainthood, I tell you.

3.5 days, if anyone is wondering.

And yes, my bags are actually packed.

Time for a nap, because somehow I have deluded myself into thinking that having a newborn, a healing c-section scar, a 6 month old, and two other small children will be a walk in the park.

I keep thinking this weekend is going to seem so looooooooooooooooooooooong, BUT perhaps I'd better enjoy it.

Just really happy they don't have to put mesh things in my veins before the surgery so that clots won't travel to my brain and kill me on the operating table.

But, you know, stay posted for that freakishly worried post somewhere around Monday evening. I have to report to the hospital at 5 AM Tuesday morning, so I won't have much time to think about it, then.

My doc said she'd let me try for a VBA2C up until 40 or 41 weeks, and maybe I'll just go ahead and cancel the section at the last minute.

Or, you know,

maybe not.

8 comments:

Carrie said...

Oh, Rachel, I just want to give you a big hug! Hang in there, girl. You're almost there! And the prayers will keep coming.

Expat Mom said...

Yeah, I'd go with not. :) It's going to be insane, but I'm hoping you have help arranged? Also, you're going to feel SO much better holding your little girl in your arms and being able to check on her visually every time you get one of those panic attacks. Much better, in my opinion!

Tammy (aka. "Mimi") said...

Girl, I just love you like crazy, and I don't even know you "in real life." ;-) Lots and lots of prayers and good wishes going your way. Can't wait until Baby Girl is in your arms!

And for the record... Never. I repeat. NEVER take medical advice from Dr. Google. ;-)

Jenny said...

So glad to hear you don't have a clot and everything is still going smoothly. I hope you enjoy your "quiet" weekend and are able to rest up before next week!!

My Fam-i-Lee said...

do you have any idea what a good writer you are? you really need to be published if you aren't already. you know... in all that spare time you have.

Leah W said...

well, this officially proves everything you try to tell me about yourself...scarier still...sounds just like me with my last pregnancy.

like i keep saying, i will be so happy when you are just fine and holding that baby in your arms.

Thoughts for the day said...

I am so excited for you and it is wonderful you have no blood clots, that is scary and very dangerous. You will be ok. God will walk with you and be with you all the way. You can do it I have great confidence in you. Still trying to figure out your oldest ages, will be sending a package to you I have your address now thank-you. Looking forward to your 'new' blogs about your precious little one. take care

Anonymous said...

Can't wait until she's here.
I'll keep checking back.
Let me know if there's anything I can do. You're a superstar! -reb