Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Much better days the last few.

We are still on track to foster/adopt, though now it looks more like straight adoption, unless some of our more concerning questions can be answered. Classes wind up soon, and more paperwork and then the home study.

There's just a huge part of me that can't conceive of bringing a child into our home only to let him or her go again. Too much loss involved.

Is that selfish of me?


Jenny said...

I definitely struggle with the same thing. At this point, we are not open to just fostering, even though our case manager told us she knows of several families who started out just fostering babies and ended up adopting them. I think we'd be great foster parents one day, but not just yet for me. You have to do what feels right to you, what is right for your family. That's not selfish. That's a healthy decision.

Cole said...


You're not being selfish. You're wanting to bring a child into your home and give that child your love, attention, and time. You don't want to have all of that taken away and that's perfectly understandable! I think adoption is one of the least selfish things you can do, stop beating yourself up for knowing that you're not up to more loss. You're a great mother and that's all you're asking for, to be a Mother...not an interim care taker. Give yourself some grace, my friend.

Renee said...

Not at all selfish. We had a little girl for a little over 2 months and having her leave was devastating. The kids still talk about how they miss their sister... and that was 2 years ago.

Allison said...

In response to your question...NO WAY! You are not being selfish. God has put different passions in to each one of us and you are soooo fortunate to know what you should do. Remember how you told me about some other couples in the class who wanted to just foster and liked the idea of not having a child long term. We all have our roles to play.

Rach said...

Not selfish in the least, Rach.

I know of a family who fostered and reared a little girl from 2 weeks until she was four. The biological parents were around, always trying to get custody.

When the girl was four, the court system deemed they had gotten their life in order and took the baby away from her "parents", the only ones she had EVER known and returned her to the biological ones. It was devastating. The can have no more to do with her since the biological 'rents have cut off all ties and relations with them.

I seriously liken it to losing a child to death. :o(