Dear Similac,
In case you hadn't noticed, our country is currently in the throes of a nice and tidy little thing economists like to label "recession". I know you're a big company, and I know you have the dollars to hire someone for the sole purpose of making sure that women who have recently miscarried or had a stillbirth or, you know, had their baby die in their arms DO NOT GET YOUR GODFORSAKEN CANS OF FORMULA IN THE MAIL!
Really. It wouldn't be a hard job. You could hire the homeless lady outside of your corporate offices to sit and do this. She could even be drinking Smirnoff on the job, and she could still accomplish the task.
This is my idea, see: wherever you got a woman's name, check again before you send out the product to see if she has ended her subscription to that particular website/magazine. This is usually a good clue that something has gone awry with her pregnancy.
Hey! Did you know that not all pregnancies go "according to plan", as your adorable little pamphlet indicates? That sometimes, we cannot plan the pain that befalls us in the form of dead or deformed babies?
One other question, before signing off: was this particular can for the baby due in September 2009, or the one due in April 2010? There was also a contender due in July 2010.
I wish you had included a note indicating which baby the formula was intended for. I'm so confused.
I fed it to my 3 year old, who is no longer a baby, of course.
That's neither here nor there.
My husband and I did, however, enjoy the photographic portions of the enclosed pamphlet. I would advise you to leave the pregnant women romping around in skimpy bikinis in any and all subsequent pamphlets! I've never had such a good chuckle from the day's mail, and never has my husband looked more green in the face. It was quite an enjoyable thing to watch, his face turning all colors of the rainbow.
Anyway, if you see a woman has unsubscribed, it's a pretty good indication you should just keep the damn formula for yourself.
Either that, or I suppose you could run the risk of getting the poor, unsuspecting mailman shot in the mail bag by a neurotic woman wearing a bathrobe and holding a tommy gun.
Warmly,
Rachel
12 comments:
Please send this to them. Please. Well, leave out the gun part, but seriously.
I am the idiot who never unsubscribed to the milestone emails that you get from BabyCenter, etc., saying, "Your baby is six months old!", or "your baby is crawling!". Um, no. No, he isn't. Maybe in heaven, but not here. Thanks for the reminder, BabyCenter.
Sarah
Is Babies R Us stalking you also? They are relentless with their five dollar off coupons. I've been getting them for about 10 years now. I wonder if they care that I spent the last one on good humor ice cream bars and soda for the 8 and 9 year olds.
((hugs)) Those companies are horrible. I will never, in my entire life, forget coming home from my son's FUNERAL to find a full sized sample can of Enfamil sitting on my front porch. Then, later (while pg with E) shopping for maternity clothes at a certain chain maternity store and being asked if I wanted to join their mailing list. The girl behind the counter simply could NOT leave it at "no". She had to tell me over and over that it's FREE! And I lost it, right there in the store. I told her that it being free makes it NO easier to see the constant reminders of what should have been when your baby is DEAD. :sigh:
I so know what you mean. I got three different [un]timely calls from my insurance company that started something like, "So, we understand that you're pregnant - congratulations."
I also unsubscribed to the babycenter pregnancy emails about 2,000 times and sent several nasty emails before they finally fixed whatever was causing me to keep getting them.
I keep waiting and waiting for the formula packages from my last loss. . . they showed up at about 12 weeks (or what should've been 12 weeks) for the first two losses.
I hate those companies. I gleefully give their formula and checks to ladies who need it, though it's tempting to mark it "RETURN TO SENDER" and write "MY BABY DIED" all over the outside. Wonder if they'd issue a formal apology then?
I've gotten them too. I still kept getting them, like just a few months ago, when Alex would've been three! and my newest loss would've been 3 months old! I totally agree with you!!!!! Love ya! (((((HUGS))))
oooo and the one from the insurance co. yeah got those too. :o(
Yes, absolutely, please do send it to them!
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According to one of the books I was just reading on breastfeeding (So That's What they're For) - the United State apparently signed an agreement with the World Health Organization stating that they would encourage more breastfeeding by making it so formula companies couldn't send or give out free samples. The lack of breastfeeding support in our country and the strong desire to bottle feed has left a lack of oversight and indifference to the agreement. I haven't been able to find confirmation about that - but it's what the book said. Interesting...maybe you can sue the formula company! :)
Blessings - Jodi (Jacobson) Marvel
Ha ha ha...nice letter. I enjoy your personality.
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