Thursday, July 9, 2009

don't steal Jelly Belly

Yesterday I went to Target with a friend. We wandered the aisles mainly because we needed to get out, and I decided to go and get some candy from the bulk candy aisle.

There I stood, minding my own business, just tryin' to get some candy, when I realized the lady next to me with the Prada purse was stealing candy. STEALING CANDY. She was a total soccer mom; dressed in a soccer skirt and tennies that most likely cost more than the monthly payment on my house. 

I looked at her, she looked at me, fudge balls in hand, poised to put them in her purse, and then she suddenly became very interested in the jelly belly sours to her left.  

This chick belonged on Oprah. You know, "Millionaire Housewives who shoplift for fun..."

So, anyway, I really wanted to say to her, "Five finger discount, right?"

or...

"Shoplifting candy? Really?"

or...

"Did you know that if you sold that purse on Craigslist you could probably afford the candy?"

but instead I turned tail to find my friend and yelled at her, "Hey, Katie! The world has gone nuts when people are stealing candy from Target!"

That was oddly satisfying, because the lady left, tail-under-legs, and I could choose my Jelly Belly soda-flavored jelly beans in peace.

5 comments:

April Swarthout said...

all i have to say is "you have got to be kidding me" :(

april

Melodie said...

The things people will do these days is very scary. love the picture.

Renee said...

Oh my! That's too funny!
Um... I wonder if candy taste better when placed in expensive purses? ;o)

korin said...

probably a kleptomaniac. prob didn't take her meds.
prob skipped an appt with her shrink lady.

Or is just a complete asshole. At least she wasn't stealing candy from a baby!!

Anonymous said...

good for you, for your info, I've seen people stealing candy on bulk aisle all the time. They call it tasting. You don't buy it if they don't taste good. Ha ha ha, right. And they tasted every single one of them, every time they pass that aisle and every time they shop at the same store. Sure all those candy taste good. They just don't want to pay. These people, should be choked with the very same candy and while the heimlich is applied, put more candy in their throats so the taste remain sweet.

sweetmoralcrisis