I was just going to write a post about how my friend in California desperately wants a c-section to delivery her second baby girl, since her first birth was so traumatic and she took months and months to heal. I told the story to Scott and he replied, "So let me get this straight. She can kill her baby; she just can't have a c-section? Aren't they all about choice out there?"
My husband is great. Witty and funny and we just work. But my rant will have to wait for another time, because, well, honestly? I'm just tired of it all.
Back up to last Thursday, the day that catapulted my thoughts on all of this. I was waiting with the kids at the DMV for new tags, because ours were stolen.
To my right was a man in his seventies who claimed that Sarah Palin was sent by God to save our nation. He also ascertained that the world would end sometime after January 1, 2009. He told me that God had revealed that to him. First of all, God WOULD do something like that. Isn't it Jesus himself who said to not even bother trying to figure out when these things will happen? So to simply rule out the last 3 months of 2008 would seem to be something He would do.
Anyway.
I was inwardly giggling, and then the Jeff Daniels look-alike to the left of me started spouting about how people in this world are evil and he wanted to get his new tags and electrify his truck so that the next time someone tried to steal them they'd get a surprise. He also informed me that he was at the DMV so the cops wouldn't beat him with a club when they pulled him over. I started laughing. Is that wrong? The guy was hilarious.
Anyway, as our tickets were called and I looked at the sleeping faces around me, I wondered if this is what death's waiting room looks like.
The DMV is the great equalizer: you HAVE to go there to get things renewed or you'll get arrested. The DMV cares not whether you are living on a trust fund, trying to feed 3 hungry children on one meager income, or just got your license. The DMV is a hungry beast waiting to be satiated. You can't get to DMV nirvana (walking out the door) until you settle your debt. For me, it was $3.50.
We can talk politics, religion, gay rights, abortion rights, poverty, Aids in Africa, sexism, racism.
We can talk Target deals, birth control, gun rights, roofing colors.
But at some point, that screen is going to flash. And it's going to be number 38, or 75, or 115. And at that point, you'll meet the One who will ask you to account for your decision for Him or against Him.
You won't have political pundits, or friends who agree with you, or self-help books. You won't have your google email account or your beautiful children to show what good you've contributed to the world.
As I sat there and reflected and realized that there was an entirely different set of people in that room not 2 hours ago, I stopped tapping my foot on the dirty floor. I was sobered to realize that many of those people in that room with me had consciously chosen a decision against God.
Was it too late? Could I influence them for Him in any way? Could I show them how great He is?
I believe that we choose to focus on so many other things because it anesthetizes us from having to make a choice.I was talking with a friend in my kitchen a week ago, and I was congratulating her for sticking with a particular belief even though she wasn't entirely sure she was believing it all. I shared with her my struggle to commit to Jesus Christ as the way, the truth and the life.
"Well, I think most people like to waffle back and forth on things because it prevents them from having to make a choice."
This friend's way of looking at the world is always compelling, and her words rang in my ears several days after we talked.
I offered an elderly couple at the DMV our seats, and I told an angry-looking teenager he could go ahead of me. Then, a man who had been complaining about the teenager "budging" asked me if I would like to sit in his spot, and he traded me tickets. He apologized for being a jerk, and he complimented Lucy and Asher on their behavior.
"She's going to preschool at our church this afternoon, and she's so very excited!" I said, wanting Him desperately to know that there were indeed nice people in churches.
I am so frustrated that I lack the courage to be one of those people at the gas station who hand out tracts. But then, I guess to me that tactic seems so forced and non-committal.
All of these things we spend our time and passion on will eventually be dust, do you know that? Ever since that day at the DMV I am seeing things differently. I feel myself pulling back a bit from political arguments and trying to convince others that Jesus Christ is on my side, and that a certain political viewpoint I hold is His, too.
Who does that eggrandize, Him or me?
The DMV is the great equalizer.
So is the end of this life.
John 14:6
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."