Monday, December 22, 2008

Don't

10. Don't forget to put up the scissors.

9. Don't forget to hear your son screaming, think it's only a bloody nose, then recoil in horror when you wipe at the little appendage and realize that the bottom part of it is no longer attached to his face. Actually, if you remember correctly, the words you used were, "Oh my God! What happened to your face?!"

8. Way to keep your cool.

7. Don't drive to the wrong ER, and especially, don't almost drive the wrong way down a one-way street so that two maintenance men on the side of the road have to do jumping jacks to get you to not make that error.

6. Don't spend 5 hours waiting, imagining yourself explaining exactly what happened to the ER staff as your son is introduced to his new foster family.

5. Don't forget the forensic evidence. They will bag it for you, and most likely use it as evidence against you in court:




4. Don't laugh when the ER nurse tells you that your son looks like Gary Busey's mug shot as he is waking up from anesthesia.

3. Don't be ashamed to tell the cosmetic surgeon that no, you will most definitely not be going to the cafeteria, thankyouverymuch, because you want to document his work for your blog:




2. Don't forget to remember just how much you love this little man. Seeing him hurt makes you realize once again that you'd do anything to make his little world all right.




2. Oh - one other thing. He will most likely never let you live this down.

1. Come on, you know yourself. You'd feel guilty for the rest of your life if he did.

26 comments:

Morgan said...

I let my brother, Cody, crack his head open on a loose brick when he was 2. It happens. Asher will always love you!

Sharion said...

Oh, sorry to hear about Asher. We're all bound to have at least one of those moments...fortunately, or not, I haven't realized mine. Give him tons of kisses!!!

Sarah said...

Here we go, confession.... Fiona had a broken arm for 5 days before I took her to the Dr. Yipes!


So sorry for Asher! Hope he is OK!

Jess said...

I am the mother whose daughter had two major accidents in one week - the swallowing of a non-food item that required an ER trip and the falling on her face and may lose two top front teeth because of the fall accidents.

It happens to all of us. I feel out of a tree onto a barbed wired fence when I was a kid. My dad didn't even take me to the ER for stitches that I needed, I just got plunked in the kitchen sink by my grandmother who poured alcohol on it and tried to pull the gash back together with a few band aids. I have a nice scar on my leg from that one. I also split my eyelid during a bad bicycle wreck. My sister had all sorts of weird accidents - a crochet hook stuck in her foot, scratched cornea from a wire coat hanger come to mind...

Kids have accidents. They are just accident prone little crazy beings. Try not to beat yourself up.

Berruto Gals said...

I cut the fingertip off of a little girl's index finger when I was like eight... to this day she teases me about it being sewn back on crooked.

Rhian had a broken leg for 3 days before we took her in to the doctor.

Get better Asher!

Emily said...

Oh.my.word. Over and over, that's all I can say. Whew. God bless you, girl!

And for what it's worth, I totally panic in crises, too. I think you did GREAT and his little nose will be back to perfect in no time. Scars reveal character, right?!

marcia said...

Oh, poor Baby! Poor Mama!! I hope you all get some much needed sleep tonight! They see stranger stuff than this all the time in the ER, Rach. 30 years from now, when you gather with the kids and grandkids for Christmas, Lucy will suddenly laugh and ask, "Hey Mom....remember the Christmas Asher tried to cut off his nose?" And his tiny kids will look at him in awe! :) I hope the rest of the week is less eventful for you! With any luck at all, your Christmas card MAY arrive on Christmas Eve. However, since that isn't too likely, I'm just going to say Merry Christmas to you right now! Merry Christmas Rach, Scott, Lucy and Asher, from VERY SNOWY Michigan!

gretchen from lifenut said...

Oh my gosh, Rach!

Poor Asher. I am sure he'll make a speedy recovery. I think most kids and moms have found themselves in your shoes at one or a dozen points in time. Ahem.

Be gentle with yourself.

Catherine said...

OK...I know it's not supposed to be funny...but it kind of is. Marcia's right...you all will laugh for years when you remember "the Christmas Asher tried to cut off his nose."

Joy said...

Yeah, Clara now had a scar right in the middle of her forehead. It happens. Hope he recovers quickly. Take care!

Kiki@Seagulls in the Parking Lot said...

Oh man, hope he doesn't have a scar so he won't remember it and won't be able to blame you!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you guys had such a traumatic experience. I hope his little nose is better soon!

Sarah

quinnley said...

Aw, poor little guy! It's only funny because it didn't happen to me.

Melanie said...

Poor little guy! Hoping he's better soon!

Lindsay said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! We've had several ER runs, but never stiches.

Shawna said...

Oh my goodness. I would have been a mess watching all that unfold. You are very strong, and luckily kids recover quickly. When I was two I bit off my tongue and I can only imagine what my mom went through. No hard feelings on my side though, kids are great forgivers. :O) I hope you both have a speedy recovery.

Ruhiyyih Rose said...

Poor baby! What a little trooper! I hope that he recovers quickly...

and I hope that you are ok, too...

Sharon said...

OUCH!!! I am cringing, poor boy, did he snip it himself! You do make me laugh in the midst of your trials!!!!

Christy said...

OUCH!!! Emily sent me over to look and oh my goodness!

ROFL that you insisted on blogging this! :)

amy said...

oh. my. gosh. rachel. i'm so sorry! oh poor baby. you're a GREAT mom for documenting it though. he will be one popular kid with pictures like this in middle school... :)

louise said...

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!!!

kate said...

Oh my goodness! How scary. I am glad he is okay!!

Mamajama said...

I'm so sorry this happened. And for the record this could have been me too, so many times. Merry Christmas to all of you!!

Julie said...

It was my 8th birthday and I cut my upper lip with a pair of scissors (long story) and had to have 4 stitches.

Totally life and totally okay. It's made for some of the best conversation starters and Hubby thinks my scar looks sexy!

Alyssa said...

i have not checked blogs in so long..i had no idea about this...soooo sorry. hope he is feeling better soon! love you guys!

Alisa said...

Oh my goodness, Rach!! Chris and I are both in hysterical bewilderment. Asher will wear the story out when he's 30 years old and telling it to his wife for the ump-teenth time! So funny! Your way of writing makes it all the better.