It's so interesting to me how at first saying "no" makes you feel like you're mean or a bad person. And then, slowly, you realize that if you don't say "no", you will become angry and anxious and never able to say "yes".
Yes, it has taken me almost 30 years to realize these things. Better late than never, right? I have had 3 different exchanges in my life within even the last week where I definitely had to tell someone, "No." Even now I question my decision, but deep down I KNOW I made the right choice, regardless of how those people feel about my "no". At times in the process I've been downright discouraged and sometimes a tad lonely, but I see a pattern of having friendships that are NOT give and take, and I'm tired of it. Friendships where I am actually told, "This relationship needs to be about me." Wow. How do I find these people?
So it's gradually changing, and the unhealthy relationships are being replaced by healthy ones.
We have our new roof now! I am lazy right now and it is raining, but I will post a picture soon. It looks good!
We leave in a few days to go to California. One of my best friends married one of Scott's best friends, and, well, it's been too long! So off we go! We're leaving Asher with Scott's mom and stepdad and leaving him brings up all sorts of OCD tendencies and anxiety, but I know if I DON'T do it then I will never be able to let go.
Rationally, I know he'll have a much better time with them, and it works out better logistically. Earlier this week I was having visions of all sorts of things happening to him. These visions aren't based in reality (thank you, OCD), as Scott's mom is 856 times more careful with the children than I am. He smiled a bit when I pointed that out.
I don't have alot more to say, so while it's raining where you are, think of me on the beach.
6 comments:
wave to me when you're here!
I wish we could get together. Some day we will.
I used to life in California. But the lack of heat and humidity made me miserable. So I moved to Virginia.
Have a great trip, full of laughs and super memories!
I hope you have a fabulous time in California! Where are you visiting? We just moved to Los Angeles.
You mean like...
"Hey lady, want to buy some drugs?"
"No!"
??????????
Have fun at the beach and an overall fantastic vacation! :)
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